The True Leader is Attuned and Assertive: You Are on Stage All the Time

This post is a translation of the original Arabic article.

In this series on innovation leadership and entrepreneurship...

I talked about innovation and creativity and the differences between them, then about how innovators draw inspiration by living at the intersection of technology and humanity. After that I moved to failure, its patterns, and how to benefit from it, and concluded with the difference between routine and innovative work and when we need each.

Today I am talking about the fundamentals of leading innovation and how a leader becomes a truly attuned leader.

The Problem with Leadership

You must understand that human beings automatically behave differently the moment they take a leadership position. Even if you have two people and you appoint a third over them, that person will immediately behave differently.

Four core problems: You become the center of attention and focus from those you lead. You focus on your own personal desires. You give less attention to others. You act as if the rules do not apply to you.

Before you rush to tell me that your manager has all these traits and it is impossible for you to turn into this person if you were ever promoted, let me tell you: it is genuinely difficult for us as humans to overcome these traits because they are hardwired into us. We are part of the mammals, and specifically primates. These traits in leaders evolved over thousands of years for the preservation of tribes and the survival of the species.

The Berkeley Cookie Experiment

This experiment was conducted in a lab but you can apply it to any three people. You need three people and a plate with five cookies. It is a social norm that no one takes the last cookie on the plate.

Bring three people and ask two of them to come up with ideas and suggestions about any topic, then make the third person an evaluator of those ideas. Try to make the setting formal and tell the leader they will be responsible for the quality of the suggestions. Put the cookie plate in front of them. Watch the plate and you will find:

• The leader usually takes the fourth cookie
• The leader eats with their mouth open or with little regard for general table manners compared to the others
• The leader will leave the crumbs and depend on the other two to clean them up

To learn more about the experiment at UC Berkeley, read here.

You Are the Center of Attention

The moment you take on leadership, we as mammals instinctively look to the leader and actually direct most of our attention toward them. That is why monkeys look at their leader every 20 seconds. I personally believe this is one of the reasons why role modeling is so important in our Islamic culture (everyone is a shepherd).

Many managers and leaders do not know themselves the way others know them. If you are the leader, those you manage likely know that you are under a certain kind of pressure, or that you are thinking about a problem, or that you are relaxed or happy. Those you manage know you better than you know yourself.

The Solution: Regular Check-Ins

Turn the problem into a positive by getting to know yourself well through opening regular communication with those you lead. I have learned that what are called Monthly 1:1 meetings are extremely useful in building a picture of yourself through listening to those you lead.

Also, be a good role model and plant the behaviors you want by applying them to yourself first. For example, if you struggle with employees being late, make sure you are the first one to be punctual so they follow your example.

It is important to know that you are on stage all the time in front of those you lead. So make sure you smile and appear the way you want to see yourself on stage.

The True Leader: Attuned and Assertive

First: Be Attuned

The attuned leader is a leader who is somewhat self-obsessed (in a good way) because they read their own behavior in the eyes of those they lead and know themselves well. At the same time, they are a good reader of people: they know who they lead, know their capabilities, and know their situations.

The attuned leader therefore stands out in two main ways: good listening and asking good questions.

The first quality enables the leader to know those they lead and, above all, to know themselves. So you must create a good climate of honesty between you and those you lead, so that they can say what they want. Note: not in public or in front of others. It is important to be well versed in what is known as emotional intelligence skills.

The second quality is that the attuned leader asks good questions. When you face a problem or want to think through a complex issue, speak with more than three people individually and ask each person three questions about the problem. Then go back and think about solving your problem. You will find that you have gathered multiple perspectives on a single issue and can emerge with excellent results.

Second: Be Assertive

It is important to know that those who want to lead creativity must be assertive, always pushing the team toward better performance and better results than last time.

You must monitor the situation. If:

• The team communicates well and makes decisions among themselves and production continues: "In this case, do not interfere. Let the wheel keep turning."
• The team communicates well but cannot reach a decision or is not moving toward production: "In this case, you must step in by setting deadlines and pushing the team to make decisions and produce." This is a well-known problem among academic leaders: fear of making decisions.
• The team is not communicating well: "In this case, you must step in and solve the communication problem within the team."

You must also let the team learn, make decisions, and make mistakes. That is fine. Remember that your job is to create a safe climate for mistakes, as we discussed earlier.

Remember: when you plant a seed, you do not dig it up to see what happened. You wait for it to grow and you guide it as it grows.

Next in the series: The Assertive Leader: What Is Assertiveness?